I consider myself a VERY laid back person and I am usually not too hung up on formalities. That being said, I was also raised in the South by a mother that could be described as "high strung" which is a nice way of saying that she will put a boot up your ass if you commit an etiquette sin. I'm trying to roll with the modern times and I get that people are far less formal thanks to technology but there are a few things that my inner Emily Post just can't abide.
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1. Email Thank You's for Formal Events/Gifts. An email thank you is fine for a last minute or small kindness, such as a friend picking up the tab for your glass of wine or a "thanks for getting the dog food last night" to the hubby or roommate. However, I do not think email thank yous are appropriate for formal events and gifts - wedding gifts, shower gifts, birthday gifts. Send a written thank you. You don't even need to buy fancy stationary but if someone cared enough to come to a party for you, celebrating some event in your life, then it won't kill you to write out a thank you card, put a stamp on it and drop it in the mail.
2. Evites for Events, Instead of Real Invitations. I am fine with Evites for informal, last minute get togethers or for recurring events like monthly girls book club. However, if it is your engagement party, wedding, shower for wedding or baby or a big to-do event like your parent's 50th wedding anniversary or something along those lines, then buy or make decent, paper invitations. I am lazy so I tend to just go to Papyrus and order a bunch and have them printed but I know that there are waaaaaay less costly ways to get formal invites out. Personally, I think invitations set the tone for the event and I think people are far less likely to bail last minute if they RSVP'd to a real invitation, which brings me to my next point....
3. Last Minute Bailing. I will admit that even I have been guilty of this. I am really bad about remembering to put things on my calendar, like book club which tends to move around. If it's not on my calendar then it's about a 50% chance, or less after I get into my wine cabinet, that I will remember it. However, if I do remember it or it's on my calendar, then I will do my best to get my butt there. Sure, there are plenty of valid reasons to pull a last minute bail, including illness, work, last minute issues with kids, house, etc... I don't get too judgmental about the last minute bail on informal dinners, parties, etc... I really get miffed though if someone has RSVP'd to a formal event (like a wedding) and then just pulls a no-show with no excuse, call or notice. That's just rude b/c I can guarantee that your food and drink has already been paid for by the host.
4. PayPal. Okay.
[Insert prolonged sigh]. This is a new one to me that just came up this week and got me thinking about etiquette. A "friend" of mine ( fine, it's a family member), just got engaged two weeks ago. Great - congrats to her. However, on her Facebook page, she has installed a Paypal link and has requested that people make cash donations to their "Wedding Fund." Am I insane or is this unbelievably tacky? I get that they are a young couple w/o a lot of money for a fancy wedding. Guess what? Neither was I. We saved, put things on credit cards and cut back on a lot of things we wanted for our wedding and cut our guest list short so we could have a small event that was half-way decent and hopefully enjoyable for everyone. We never asked for donations and that thought would have never crossed my mind. My feeling on this is that people give you wedding gifts to help you start your new life together - they do not pay for your wedding. You should be focused on the marriage part, not the wedding "I get to have a party" part. This just rubbed me the wrong way but maybe I am being old fashioned.
5. Paper Plates. Unless it is a really casual BBQ at the lake, your backyard or you are serving young children, I do not want to see a paper plate at a dinner party. It's just a thing I have - sorry. Not even that fancy Chinet crap is acceptable. I have heard every excuse in the book on this one from "I don't want anything to get broken" to "I don't want to wash all those dishes." I understand that sentiment so the answer is "Don't agree to host." Last time I checked, there are not any rogue bands of armed people going around forcing you to host random dinner parties. Real plates and glasses, please. Unless you're doing a white trash themed party and then break out the Red Solos and the Dixie Plates.
Any other etiquette pet peeves?